Peanut Butter & Jelly
by metaldragons
Summary: Regina calls Emma late at night for assistance. No plot, just a silly one-shot


Emma's breath hitched at the sight of Regina in a deep red gown with black ribbon, and as she approached Regina turned, meeting her eyes. The smile that lit up her face was so uncharacteristic of the sassy mayor that for a moment Emma couldn't think of anything but her. Slow music had started with a melody that Emma knew, but had no memory of ever being told the name. It was then she noticed her own dress, a similar shade of red, but where black was on Regina's dress, white ribbon was on hers. Emma couldn't dance. She felt uncomfortable and out of place, but when she looked at Regina, she didn't hesitate to step forward and take her hand. Just as their hands touched, Emma's phone rang with a shrill sound. Still in a fog of sleep, she hit the 'answer' button and mumbled a greeting, unpleasantly realizing it was just a dream.

"What."

"Emma?"

That woke her up faster than a bucket of ice water; and yes, she knew what that was like thanks to her 7th foster home. She knew it was Regina's voice, but the soft and almost pleading tone accompanied by her first name gave her extreme cause for concern.

"Is everything okay Regina?"

"Yes, well, in fact there is something I find myself in need of…"

Wow, Emma thought, this is sounding like the start of a bad porno. The mayor of a town needing the sheriff's assistance late at night, all alone in her big mansion, making a house call-

"Well?"

Flustered, and unaware Regina spoke at all, Emma tried, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"Are you really asking me to repeat myself? You know I never do this."

"Do what?"

Regina let out a heavy sigh and Emma could feel her rolling her beautifully dark eyes at Emma's unawareness.

"Ask for help."

Emma bit her tongue with an array of snarky comments to that. Despite her nagging attraction for the mayor, their rivalry was still as vicious as ever and Emma could pinpoint all of Regina's weaknesses or even dislikes. Above all, Regina hated having her pride stepped on.

"I don't think you're asking for help, I'm your employee and need to do my job."

The silence that followed let Emma know that Regina was just as surprised as she was that she didn't take her opportunity to weaken Regina's demeanor even more, especially considering the fight they had only two days before consisting of very detailed threats.

"So, Miss Mills, what do you need me to do?"

"I need you to fetch me peanut butter, Miss Swan."

"I- What? Peanut butter?" Emma checked the clock for the first time since she woke.

"Yes. Organic with no nuts."

"Regina, you woke me up at 11:30 to tell me to go get- or rather fetch, like a dog, peanut butter?!"

"I am aware of the time, Sheriff. But are you aware it is Sunday, and Henry needs lunch for tomorrow. A lunch that he will only eat if it includes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And we no longer have any peanut butter."

Emma sighed and fell back onto her bed, which Regina took as agreement.

"Good. Remember organic and no nuts."

"Wait-"

The call ended, and Emma's night began.

All stores closed before or on midnight in Storybrooke, and the convenience store closed at 11. Luckily Fred, the gym teacher who worked weekends there, was still cleaning by the time Emma arrived.

"Hey Sheriff, what can I do for you?"

"Sorry for bothering you so late, I know you already closed, but would I be able to pick up one thing really quick?"

Fred just smiled and nodded, heading over to finish sweeping the last isle.

It took Emma a few minutes to find creamy organic PB, which was an extra $2 from a container twice its size of Peter Pan's creamy PB, but it was nothing compared to the fit Regina would have if she didn't follow orders.

Fred didn't say anything about the peanut butter, but wore a puzzled look on his face at such a mundane item. When Emma handed over a $10, he insisted it was on him she didn't have to worry, mentioning the registers were already locked up. She flashed him a smile with no time to argue and raced to her bug. She sent Regina a quick text and started her yellow car.

Regina lingered by the door after receiving a message from Emma. **Omw. **It was short and to the point, with no proper grammar. It had taken Regina a while to become accustomed to the Sheriff's way of texting, but after researching the internet for the most common acronyms, (Emma would make even the simple things difficult) Regina could understand her weird way of communicating. Everything about that woman was difficult and childish. Regina hated her. Regina hated the way she could anger her with one look, yet have the ability to make Henry's day. Regina hated the way she always knew how to anger her, but knew when to draw the line. Like Swan actually cared about hurting her. Preposterous. Regina cared about her, a lot, but only in a negative light. Such as the light of a fireball she would love to hurtle at the blonde.

Regina mostly hated the way Emma made her nervous. No one else had made her nervous since her mother, and that was a different type of vulnerability. No, Miss Swan was a threat. A threat to their-no, _her_ son. Her son that was hers and hers alone. She didn't need any help taking care of him.

But a soft knock at the door reminded her that, actually, she just asked for help taking care of their son.

Emma had only put on her red jacket over a white tank and a pair of light blue skinny jeans, and due to the bitterly cold weather, she began to regret it while waiting for the Mayor to open the door. But when the mayor did come to the door, the look on her face almost made Emma regret being born. Almost. Emma pushed her way past Regina and into her home, with added fuel to the flames that made her want to rip off the woman's head sooner than her clothes, and headed for the kitchen. Once in the spotless area, Emma _did what she did best and made herself at home. _She shook her head, _for fuck's sake she's in my head now? _She thought as she managed to find a plate and knife without setting off any fires.

"What do you think you're doing?" Regina's tone made it clear she was no longer in the pleading mood as she had been not 20 minutes ago, but Emma was over halfway done with the antics.

"Making Henry lunch. What are you doing?" Emma's question caught her off guard, something that rarely happens to her.

"Well, seems someone is in a hurry. I suppose you shouldn't keep your late night visitors waiting." Regina practically sang, with a light smile and hell in her eyes. The smile only grew as she saw Emma stiffen.

"Does this make me your late night visitor, Madame Mayor?" Emma retorted, unable to keep a smirk from her lips at the sight of Regina ready to pounce. They both secretly loved this. The challenge of going back and forth, waiting for the other to hesitate or choke on their next remark.

"Oh no, you wouldn't be able to handle that."

"You have no idea what _I _am capable of." Emma spat back Regina's words from mere days ago, ripping open the bag of whole wheat bread, causing half of the loaf to fall onto the floor. Regina made a noise in between a laugh and a growl.

"Clearly you aren't capable of making a simple sandwich."

Emma replied with a glare and a mumbled "My sandwiches are awesome, lady."

Regina glared down at the blonde, "I trust you can clean up after yourself. And Henry will be the judge of how well you can assemble his lunch."

Then the mayor turned on her heel and made her way upstairs, leaving Emma stranded in the kitchen- still fuming.

As she opened the trash bin to dispose of the fallen bread, Emma saw an unopened can of organic creamy peanut butter.


End file.
